A sick (or dead) leader is no good to anyone

Last night, I thought about leaders’ role and responsibilities around health and wellness. It saddens me that what makes a good leader can also become a dangerous weakness in some areas.  

When I was in the army, the gap between leaders who put themselves first, and those who made sure their soldiers were cared for first, was palpable. I served in the catering corps, and at mealtimes, this is how that gap would play out:  

Sergeant A would lead his men into the mess, ensuring he was first in line for the food. He’d fill his plate to overflowing with the most popular choices and then march to a long trestle table where he could hold court. His soldiers would follow suit, piling food on their plates. But rather than join the sergeant, they’d furtively look for somewhere else to sit.

In contrast, Sergeant B would arrive and stand back, making sure his soldiers all got first run at the food. He’d join the rear of the queue and would fill his plate with whatever was leftover. As he’d look for somewhere to sit, his soldiers would call out, inviting him to join them.  

It was easy to see that sergeant B’s soldiers would crawl over hot coals for him. They respected him. They knew he had their best interests at heart. On the other hand, Sergeant A was considered to be full of himself; rash, inconsiderate of others’ needs and feelings and basically just out for himself.

We’re so conditioned to put others first. We see that selflessness is an excellent quality in leaders. And so it is…until it becomes a dangerous weakness. I work with so many business owners and leaders who put the business, and their staff, before themselves. Some of them don’t even pay themselves to make payroll.  

But in doing so, they choose to compromise their health and wellness.  

How many of you know that you’re not looking after yourself as well as you could? How many of you eat the wrong things because it’s easy and you’re too tired to make an effort to cook something wholesome? How many of you tell yourself you haven’t got time to exercise today? And how many of you start early and stay late because you perceive you’re the only one who cares if this business succeeds?

When we work this hard and pour all of our energy into it, we know at some level what we’re doing to our health, but we never consciously admit that we’ll pay for it.   We keep abusing ourselves because we take work so seriously. And let’s face it. Taking work seriously is not just restricted to business owners and leaders. I know plenty of employees, at all levels of organisations, who take their work just as seriously.  

The result of putting everything but yourself first leads to feeling out of control; it leads to panic attacks, carrying too much weight, poor quality sleep, low fitness levels, weak immune system, high blood pressure, eating disorders, constant low energy …and the list goes on.   All for the sake of work! Why is it we don’t take our health and wellness as seriously as we do our work???

Have you ever asked yourself, as a leader, what kind of example you’re setting for the people around you?  

What good are you to the business if you’re sick all the time? If you have no energy to bring? Or if you work yourself into a major breakdown?

The other greatest influence in my working life was my time with Singapore Airlines. Every day on countless flights in every corner of the world, we preached, “Fit your own oxygen mask first, before helping others!” Ironic.

Put yourself first. Take care of yourself first. See to your own interests first. Do those short sentences make you feel uncomfortable? If you’re like most people, they probably do. Being “selfish” is frowned upon. It’s a belief system that is highly ingrained in us. We’re taught that helping others is an admirable quality. We gain a considerable amount of our relevance from service to others. It’s a beautiful quality. But it’s also a sinister robber of potential.

Yes, we need to consider others, but not at the expense of ourselves. There’s no win-win in that position.  

One of the critical cornerstones of effective leadership is setting a good example that others will follow because they will follow your example – whether you intend it or not. If you choose not to look after yourself (your body, your health, your diet, your mental health), what message are you sending? What standard are you setting? What risk are you taking?

Only you can be responsible for your own health and wellness. You can’t give over the power and responsibility for your health to anyone, or anything, else. The power – and the choice – rests with you. You can’t blame your wife for the fact that you’re eating poorly. You can’t blame your husband for the fact that you’re no longer exercising. And you can’t blame the business for the fact that you’ve chosen to give it all your energy.  

Your first responsibility is to you. It’s to your own health and wellness. If you’re not well and healthy, you can’t be that person who is of optimum service to others. And believe me, if you keep taking your body for granted; if you keep fuelling it with rubbish; if you keep starving it of quality sleep; and if you keep working it to breaking point, you will pay! And the really sad thing is, it’s not just you who’ll pay the price, is it?