Tackling tough conversations with the G.R.O.W. framework

Last week, at a workshop, I revisited a framework that’s really useful in many circumstances.

In this case, we were practicing coaching conversations.

But it’s an equally good framework for having those tough conversations you need to have with staff who are under-performing.

Here’s a quick insight into the framework and some examples of how you might use it when you need to have one of those tough conversations.

G stands for GOAL and this part of the model is used for establishing the goal or objective for the conversation.  It’s also useful for when you want to have a conversation about expectations and standards.

For example:

• There is something important I’d like to discuss with you.  How are you placed at 3pm on Wednesday?
• I am concerned about that order that got messed up and would like to make a time to discuss it with you
• I need to talk about what I expect of you in this role.  Please give some thought to what you see as the expectations before we meet on Friday.

R stands for REALITY and we use this part of the framework to discuss and explore the situation as it currently stands.  Consider how your expectations are not being currently met and what behaviours you are currently observing.

For example:

• What is actually happening?
• What impact is the situation having on you and the business?
• Explain what is frustrating you about the situation
• Decide how important it is to resolve the situation/issue
• If the behaviour continues, what are the implications for them?  For you?
• How is this making you feel?
• How is it making them feel?

O is for OPTIONS and this is about exploring how the situation could be different.  It’s about looking for ways to resolve the issue so that all parties experience a win of sorts.    

For example:

• What would you like to see in the future?
• What are they prepared to commit to, to achieve that future?
• What are the options you can explore?
• What ideas do they have?
• Ask them, if they were in your shoes, what they would do about this

W is for WHAT’S NEXT, which simply means what actions will you both agree to as a result of this conversation.  It means agreeing on the best option generated in O and identifying tasks and behaviours that need to be undertaken to achieve the outcome you want.

For example:

• What is the option you agree to take action on?
• What is the logical first step to achieve that option?
• What have you agreed as a result of the conversation?
• Who will do what?
• When will you review it again?
• What support is needed to achieve the desired outcome?
• What barriers or roadblocks can you see getting in the way?
• What will you do about them?

Having a tough conversation with someone requires planning and preferably practice. 

Having a tough conversation is not something you want to try out in difficult circumstances.  Practicing in a safe place helps you DO, not just KNOW how to do. 

We can all read articles and think we KNOW how to do it, but actually DOING it is a very different thing.  As the Taoist saying goes, “To know and not to do, is not to know.”